your thong is hanging out like whoa
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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