There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
