I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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