so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
