I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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