Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
