So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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