yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think I sprained my soul last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
