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• (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.

  Fav 103 1664 3168

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Did we use protection last night?

  (1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Um, no...keep in touch, okay?

  Fav 46 1570 15187

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• (650): View more from California

  you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"

  Fav 18 6095 903

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

  Fav 44 7389 1604

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• (917): View more from New York City

  you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...

  (917): View more from New York City

  no it doesn't.

  Fav 34 19333 1856

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• (585): View more from New York

  I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

  (1-585): View more from New York

  You are so irish.

  Fav 19 7405 1256

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

  Fav 15 1406 3119

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?

  Fav 17 1966 840

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• (661): View more from California

  i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance

  Fav 4 983 743

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.

  Fav 7 912 1382

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.

  Fav 3 1774 639

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.

  Fav 8 804 569

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

  Fav 2 511 1359

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.

  Fav 4 720 553

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone signed my nipple.

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