I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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