So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
