Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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