Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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