no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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