He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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