you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Alive.
So much puke
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
