You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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