Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
