so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
