CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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