i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
