Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
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