My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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