we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
