how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
