Hey man sorry I got all grabby
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
