Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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