Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
