Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
