I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
