I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
