Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize