I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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