hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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