Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize