Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
