3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dick very happy bro
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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