I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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