if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
