we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
