"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize