You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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