I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
