I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
time to smoke my breakfast
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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