What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i've created a new STD.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
