what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
