Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize