dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
