I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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