Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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