how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize