normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
last night I used snow as a chaser
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
