In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
