If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
