he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
