1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
