she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
