If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
