Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
