who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
