Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
