Do you still have your period?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
