Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
