too bad you live with your parents still
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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