VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
And then he peed in my hair
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