Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize