New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
