i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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