4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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