peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
