he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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