Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
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Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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