I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same